The dreams that got away

I’m sorry you had to repeatedly watch your dreams burst into flames right before your eyes. Over and over again.

I’m sorry the shards from the explosions cut your eyes and now you can’t see clearly enough to ever dream big and bright again

lost moments we can’t get back

And sometimes there is nothing more painful than knowing the value of a moment and not having the mental capacity to be able to experience it fully

To an almost love

I want to speak to you, but I’m scared to get hurt . I can’t give you that power, I can’t. I’m losing weight , I can’t sleep.
I’m not ok, I keep running away from the fact that I feel awful. Speaking to people is starting  to feel like a full time job. Pretending to be all in when you’re half alive and barely breathing is hard  and I’m struggling . It feels like I’m suffocating and I’m trying to keep up. Trying to stay sane for everyone while I drown and lose myself all over again
It’s the most painful thing , I can’t even explain it